Falling is like This
by Breathtake
Summary: ShikaIno. She is flawed, and he is selfish, but they try anyway. "It's troublesome, but I think I'm probably in love with you."


**Summary:** _She is flawed, and he is selfish, but they try anyway. "It's troublesome, but I think I'm probably in love with you." [ShikaIno]_

**Author's Notes:** My first foray into the world of fanfiction. I've been reading fics for years, so it's about time!

Happy reading :-)

_Standard disclaimers apply._

* * *

Ino sits alone in her favourite coffee shop, nursing a steaming cup of peppermint tea, and that is when she sees him again.

Shikamaru doesn't seem to notice, and continues to take calm sips of coffee, oblivious to her scrutinizing gaze. His face is turned towards the window – looking at the clouds, presumably. _He's lost weight,_ Ino observes, and a scowl flits across her face. Sitting across from him is a girl about his age, with long hair tied up in twin braids. She is slowly tearing her napkin to tiny pieces, looking uncomfortable with his silence. The napkin drops, and as Shikamaru bends to pick it up, his eyes fall on her. Recognition, shock and then-

The intensity barely concealed beneath his gaze startles her, weighs down on her.

(Thrills her, makes her toes curl)

Ino lowers her head and turns away, her blonde locks a curtain over her eyes (they'd only betrayed her in the past). She focuses them now on the hands wrapped around her mug, ignores how her fingers are tense and white-knuckled.

"_You know, those baby blues really are a window straight into your soul."_ He'd once remarked teasingly. She remembers having wiped that infuriating smirk off his face with an aptly timed kiss.

Now, Ino hefts her bag over one shoulder, gets up and quietly makes her way towards the exit.

(It's been three months and two days)

She manages to catch his murmur of _excuse me_ to the girl (Hana, was it?) before she pushes open the door and is _running, running and there's no way she'll let this happen again and it doesn't matter that it's Shikamaru because-_

Her scarf whips against her face as she turns a corner. _Because this is not okay._

* * *

_It's a Tuesday afternoon when Ino returns home from a mission. Shikamaru is downstairs, waiting. ("Go upstairs and tidy up, yeah? We'll go out for dinner tonight.")_

_She undresses and bathes before finding herself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, all thoughts of makeup and clothes abruptly leaving her. As Ino stares at her own naked form, her hands begin to shake._

_What she sees are fresh bite mark crescents decorating her shoulders, scratches marring the smooth expanse of her back and dark purple bruises adorning her breasts._

_Battle scars._

_Because this is her specialty, these information retrieval missions. She isn't the strongest fighter, but when it comes to kunoichi missions, Ino is at the very top ("Even better than Tsunade, they say!")._

_She knows._

_And so she fools them one after another – seducing them, coaxing their secrets out, ruining them. This is her duty. Ino is numb to grubby hands and wet, sloppy kisses. This is her life._

_She turns away from the mirror, and a thin sound escapes the back of her throat._

_Look at yourself, you whore. What are you-_

_(Swollen lips, angry red patches of skin)_

_What _are _you?_

_And she hears the muted _thumpthump _of feet as Shikamaru climbs the stairs. "Oi, Ino! It'd be nice to head out sometime before sunrise! Tch, troublesome woman. I don't know why I even-"_

_A sharp intake of breath._

_He stares at her silently, and she feels herself sag beneath his gaze._

"_Don't come any closer."_

_(On another day Ino would be proud to have rendered this man speechless)_

_After a moment's hesitation, he takes a step forward._

"_I said _stay back_. Go away."_ _Her tone is harsh, but Shikamaru detects the undercurrent of something akin to fear._

_When he speaks, his voice is gentle._

"_But it's not your fault."_

"_Shikamaru. You don't need to… I don't want you to see this."_

_The softness in his eyes makes her want to howl at the world._

* * *

She runs a few more steps before being forced to a sudden halt. Ino isn't as bright as her friend Sakura, let alone brilliant like _him_, but she has never been stupid. She doesn't so much as flinch when she feels that all-too-familiar coldness seep through her feet and up her spine. And then she cannot move at all.

"That's hardly fair."

A sigh. "Would you have stopped otherwise?"

She doesn't reply.

"I just need you to hear me out."

"Shikamaru, please."

"It doesn't have to be like this. We could-"

"No," Ino says in what she hopes is firm resolve, "No, we couldn't."

They stand in silence for a while, breaths forming small clouds in the cold, winter air.

"You shouldn't keep Hana waiting. It's rude. Besides, your drink is getting cold." She points out curtly.

She feels him dispel the jutsu, and turns around to face him.

He is looking straight at her, but the expression on his face is unreadable.

"You know, just a couple days ago I realized something," Shikamaru begins lightly, contemplative. "It's troublesome, but I think I'm probably in love with you."

Ino's heart stops beating for one, brief moment, before she sucks in a choked breath.

He carries on conversationally. "So now I'm thinking maybe that's the reason I ran into you today, after so long. Like fate was just waiting for me to finally concede defeat, or something. Weird, isn't it?"

"That's a pretty dumb theory for a genius like you." There is a tightness unraveling in her chest, but she fiercely ignores it.

Shikamaru lets out a short, humourless laugh. "Maybe it is."

Another companionable silence.

"Ino,"

"You know why I left."

"I'd like it if you'd reconsider."

She replies in a small, tired voice. "You have no idea what you're asking for."

"But see, that's where you're wrong. You might've caught me off guard, but it doesn't change anything." He takes a few steps towards her. "Doesn't change _us_."

She looks at him incredulously. "Shikamaru, I'm not sure you understand. I go around _having sex _with strangers, criminals, all the while asking them things like 'So, what exactly is it that you do for a living?' and 'Whereabouts is this secret base of yours?'. That's my _job_. I can't have… relationships, like this."

When he replies, his voice is steady. "So? I go around wiping out villages, murdering civilians, and at the end of the day I sit down at my desk and write it all out on my mission report, detail by gory detail."

"My body is nothing but a tool."

"And I'm a ruthless killer."

At that, she is silent. Shikamaru exhales slowly. He is still looking at her, eyes piercing, and as usual, she averts hers.

"I see you reading those romance novels of yours, watching chick flicks with Sakura on your days off. You tell me that kind of life isn't yours to have, but Ino, you can't say you've ever stopped dreaming."

He continues. "And I can't promise you anything like that. But during the day, we fight, we fuck, we fool others. We fulfill our duties, no matter how gruesome they are. Is it so wrong for us to want something familiar and _human_ to return home to, when the day is over?"

(Her chest is crumbling, collapsing, and she is afraid)

Suddenly, he walks right up to her. "Please," he breathes, and Ino feels it ghost against her ear and that's when she realizes how very close he is and oh God she should _not_ be feeling like this-

Shikamaru catches her in a strong embrace, encasing her in warmth. He smells like sky, leaves, and something that, Ino thinks, can only be described as _his_. She can't help but feel the fear slowly drain out of her, replaced by something else, something different.

(Something a little like courage)

_She wants him loves him but it isn't practical isn't ideal wouldn't be easy-_

Before she can stop herself, Ino feels her own arms wrap around him, drawing him closer. Shikamaru lets out a muffled, heated noise and his grip around her tightens.

_-but she thinks she'll try anyway._

* * *

"You're unbelievable."

"Unbelievably irresistible, you mean."

Her laughter fans against his cheek, warms his heart.

"So, Ino, does this mean you'll move back in with me?" _Please. I've missed you._

"Only if you're sure you want this."

"Don't be such a martyr. It doesn't suit you." _Thank you, thank you._

"Why, you ungrateful little bastard, you. I ought to dump your scrawny ass and-"

Shikamaru, ever the strategic one, silences her with a kiss.

**END**

* * *

I couldn't possibly end it without a kiss :3

Thoughts?


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